Good evening ladies and germs... Hey waiter how 'bout my fuckin' drink! Hey! Does your mother know you're here? (They get too excited they break things) I’m going to rip off Bill Hicks And I’m going to rip off Louis CK Then I’m going to rip off Denis Leary (I don’t feel like telling my own jokes tonight)
First day at the Shanghai Noodle Factory The line-boss comes up to him and says “OK pal so we’re making these noodles There's 3 things you got to remember…”
It looks like everyone here is loaded It looks like all my bills are unpaid My dog can't walk toilet doesn't flush I'm losing my hair as fast as my appetite My wife left me last week stole my kids Things are gone to hell right now we're here
I'm drinking lots more since then not least
The lump on my scrotum's getting bigger
You can figure out the first crunch You can probably guess the second one Punchline’s getting a little tricky now... Believe me comedy is no joke.
It is both spring and summer here where we have stopped, halfway home. Lupine blues the hillside still capped in snow, the air braces as it warms between drifting clouds, and a late afternoon squall brews to the west. We walk to the fence and stretch. Calves bolting from our shadows lose themselves in the sheer joy of play. We can almost touch a rippled ridge of Ponderosa Pine that could be five miles away. Now the light we saw leave the tops of those trees flows downslope. It seems to stagger across a fold of land, then ripple through the grass on its way to find us where we stand together.
Whether out far or deep in the arm is near the sand we’re drowning or waving a little matter of perspective now looking at Miller’s photo of the night sky with Jupiter as near to us as the Moon thus I have almost heard the thunders of a distant god & what remains of this time on Earth like the Sun Buddha might again come back as Smokey the Bear to shout only you can conquer fear don't rest but rescue everything unravel the tide watch it coming in.
You’re a poet, so how do you forget your memory? How don't you see it? Just the other day my mate and I were complaining about how we never hear the birds anymore. How we miss them. But for once early this morning I was actually awake. As the sun was coming up I heard some singing outside my window. (You're very funny, Julie. Yes, they were birds.) They stopped around 7:30. After that I suppose they keep their voices down. After that something zooming past sounded like a Ducati. But maybe I was wrong about that.
It’s a test in moderation I’ve got a date with Spring with some Shanghai poets plum trees & new blossoms some are pink some are white the Famous Poet tells us it's the new emblem of China young Charlotte introduces me we all read a couple of poems Minnow reads one that invokes Li Bai then he mocks himself Sexy Girl reads most seriously Actress can dance hers beautifully kids are scattered beneath the trees they sway like little lotus roots Imei says poetry isn't a profession and for once I hold my tongue I read a poem about frustration a hundred photos are taken I wear your soft red scarf when this sun stops the rain and shines for just an hour people say they love you.