Good evening ladies and germs...
Hey waiter how 'bout my fuckin' drink!
Hey! Does your mother know you're here?
(They get too excited they break things)
I’m going to rip off Bill Hicks
And I’m going to rip off Louis CK
Then I’m going to rip off Denis Leary
(I don’t feel like telling my own jokes tonight)
First day at the Shanghai Noodle Factory
The line-boss comes up to him and says
“OK pal so we’re making these noodles
There's 3 things you got to remember…”
It looks like everyone here is loaded
It looks like all my bills are unpaid
My dog can't walk toilet doesn't flush
I'm losing my hair as fast as my appetite
My wife left me last week stole my kids
Things are gone to hell right now we're here
I'm drinking lots more since then not least
The lump on my scrotum's getting bigger
You can figure out the first crunch
You can probably guess the second one
Punchline’s getting a little tricky now...
Believe me comedy is no joke.
© 2014 Rob Schackne